Parenting Stories

Dear New Step-Parents: Pain Is Not Permanent

stepdad holding child feeling happy

Dear New Step-Parents: Pain is not permanent. There are going to be plenty of times where you’ve had it. There are going to be times where you wish you could just walk away and never come back. There are going to be people who backstab you, manipulate your trust, and walk all over you. Those days will come, no stepparent can escape it!

But, what will separate you from the majority is the ability to face your problems head-on and not run away from your fears.

Facing your fears with full confidence that you will come out on top, no matter what type of adversity stands in your way—that is the key element that will define who you are until the day you die. We have all been there at one point or another. And guess what?! We have all ran from our problems.

There is not a single person walking this earth today who has never shied away or ran from a problem they were facing. That’s what makes us human, the ability to humble ourselves and to be fearful of the unknown.

Look, I am not going to sit here and tell you that I’ve never run from a sticky situation in my life. I hate confrontation just like the next person and I am 100% guilty of tucking my tail between my legs and walking away. Shit, I did it 9 months into my journey to becoming an actor! I never really gave it my all in LA. Heck, I barely gave it half! And what I did do was blame everything and everyone else for my failures like most overwhelmed, unwilling-to-look-in-the-mirror stepparents do every single day.

I told everyone I knew that I could handle any situation thrown at me, but I was not only lying to my friends and family… I was also lying to myself! And that was worse. I was convinced that it was everyone else’s fault and THEY were the reason why my connection with the kids was weak and THEY were the reason why my relationship with my wife was off! Looking back, I can now see how delusional I really was.

But, there is something to be said about the man or woman who can admit to being a coward.

So, why am I telling you all of this? I mean, you get it, right? Pain is not permanent. And stepparents, my intention is to light a fire under your ass to get back on the horse. My intention is to motivate you to walk over to the shelf where you put your dreams so many years or months ago, dust them off, and see what the fu*k you are made of.

It is your responsibility to lead by example and to show your kids that they can truly become whatever they want.

You are worth it. Your family is worth it. The question is, do you have what it takes?