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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM

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my momish moments, diary of a bonus mom

"I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you."

LATEST MOM HACKS:

students working together in a pandemic pod
August 6, 2020

What Is A “Pandemic Pod” And Should You Consider One?

We desperately needed support to stay above water and community to keep us tethered. So after lots of open...

by Aubry Parks-Fried
ways mamas can de-stress with happy baby
August 5, 2020

5 Ways Mamas Can De-stress During This Difficult Season

No matter what your version of motherhood is, you are always navigating new roads. But despite the craziness, here...

by Lisa Kimrey
fun things to do with kids during COVID-19
April 9, 2020

19 Fun Things To Do With Kids During Quarantine

COVID-19 is challenging and scary, but let's make this time at home memorable! Here are fun things to do...

by Marisa Donnelly
ways to help ease your child's anxiety
April 9, 2020

9 Ways To Ease Your Child’s Anxiety During COVID-19

Children cope and process in different ways. Here are a few simple, yet powerful ways to help ease your...

by Marisa Donnelly

See More:

FROM THE HEART:

lessons from children

8 Lessons In Healing We Can Learn From Children

by Marisa Donnelly

Perhaps this is one of the greatest lessons from children we must learn — that it's okay to need people. Growth isn't meant to happen alone.

July 14, 2020
From The Heart
dear mom stop with the mom guilt you are doing great

Dear Mama: Stop With The ‘Mom Guilt’

by Marisa Donnelly

Being a good mom doesn't mean constantly living with mom guilt. Being a good mom is about loving yourself, even if (and inevitably when) you're imperfect.

March 11, 2020
From The Heart
being the second wife doesn't make you any less

On Being The Second Wife

by Marisa Donnelly

As the second wife, I am not the second choice — I am the second chance.

March 10, 2020
From The Heart
My Bonus Mom Story

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Our Unfiltered Life:

Not all heroes wear capes. 🦸‍♀️ Not all heroes wear capes. 🦸‍♀️
Learning looks like a lot of things lately. Someti Learning looks like a lot of things lately. Sometimes learning looks like conversations about the atmosphere on a drive to a friend's house, or analyzing the validity of the weatherman on our morning walks, or discussing how foods melt and at what temperature while standing side-by-side at the kitchen table making lunch.⠀ ⠀ For my #dyslexic son, learning looks like reading on the couch, tracing a picture, following along with a computer screen, and writing with shaving cream on cookie sheets for my own makeshift #multisensorylearning activity.⠀ ⠀ For kids with dyslexia, oftentimes rote repetition and traditional learning programs don't bridge the gaps. As a certified teacher (and budding #ReadingSpecialist) I know this, and it's created an urgency in me to share as much as I can about what I've learned, what I see working in my classroom and my home, and what may help you and your child.⠀ ⠀ Learning looks different for everyone (especially in the time of COVID). If your child is struggling, try, as much as you can, to make learning interactive and incorporate as many of the senses as possible. Sometimes that little shift makes all the difference. ⠀ ⠀ (Okay, and getting crazy with shaving cream is fun, too.)
I hold onto these words every time I'm feeling low I hold onto these words every time I'm feeling low, discouraged, overwhelmed, and frustrated with the current times. School closures impact my son beyond a mere "inconvenience." Distance learning means the inability to access necessary resources, it means a divide between him and his peers, it means a continual battle to not only attend through a screen but learn in the way he knows how. ⠀ ⠀ If you're a #specialneedsparent, you know what I mean. And chances are, you're caught between wanting in-person school, wanting health + safety, and not wanting to anger anyone in the process with your opinions.⠀ ⠀ But here's what I want you to keep in mind: YOU are the agent of change. And YOU can change so much about what's happening in your child's life right now.⠀ ⠀ Schools will open if they're meant to open, or they'll stay closed if they're supposed to be closed. Your child will learn in-person if that's how the cards fall, or maybe he/she will be learning through a screen. And guess what?! It'll be okay. Because the learning journey won't stop there.⠀ ⠀ You're a parent of a special needs child. You will fight. You will find ways to make learning meaningful. You will juggle, and make ends meet, and come up with solutions to help your child learn. You will push. You will find people who support you and lean on them. You will recognize that your child won't be behind (because everyone is experiencing these challenges right now!) You will let go of what you can't control and push for what you can. You will be an advocate, teacher, and warrior.⠀ ⠀ And your child will be just fine.⠀ Because your child has YOU.⠀ ⠀ — @_marisadonnelly @momishmoments #momish⠀
I'm not the best mom. Sometimes I carry the weight I'm not the best mom. Sometimes I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sometimes I raise my voice when I shouldn't, or blame my little guy for things that aren't his fault. I lose my patience. I question myself. I forget my identity in trying to be or do everything when really all I need to do is show up.⠀ ⠀ This season is hard for a lot of us, and for me, being a mother without a "title" has brought its own weight. I'm not the bio mom, but I'm the primary caregiver. I'm not the bio mom, but I'm the one navigating school, playdates, mealtimes, and conflicts while trying to run my business from home. I'm not the bio mom, but I'm juggling quarantine life while trying to keep a household running as my son's father works his essential out-of-the-house job. I'm not the bio mom, but the shoes fit and so I wear them. And sometimes I wear the heels thin. And sometimes my ankles blister trying so desperately to run, to keep going when I just need to kick my feet up and rest.⠀ ⠀ I'm not the bio mom.⠀ I'm not the best mom.⠀ ⠀ But I keep reminding myself that every day is a new day, a new opportunity. Every day I can wake up and love a little harder, forgive a little quicker, soften my voice a little more. ⠀ ⠀ I am not perfect, but I am not supposed to be.⠀ I'm here, I'm loving, I'm trying. And maybe that's enough.⠀ ⠀ #momishmoments @brettbrooksphotography ⠀
I’m no longer rushing, running, sipping drinks a I’m no longer rushing, running, sipping drinks and chasing after all the wrong things. I am no longer selfish, only thinking about the next item on my list. My life now, is simple, but I love it this way. Three plates, three sets of shoes, three people in the family portrait hanging on the wall in the front room. This is the family I chose. This is home.⠀ ⠀ [Excerpts from my piece on @Medium, "My 'Home Is the Family I Chose."] ❤️⠀
The hardest thing about being a #bonusmom exists i The hardest thing about being a #bonusmom exists in the everyday. In the everyday struggle of getting up and ready for school, in the everyday battles of "Why can't I play more video games?" or "Why do I have to do the dishes?" and in the everyday back-and-forth of playdates, lunches (and refusing to eat the crusts 🙈), and trying to find a balance between work, school, and play.⠀ ⠀ But the best thing about being a #bonusmama is in the everyday, too. ⠀ ⠀ It's in the morning wakeups and cuddles before getting dressed, in the smiles and jokes shared at mealtimes, it's in the scooter rides with the dog and looking back to make sure we're following him, it's in the smiles and bedtime songs and silly faces and a relationship built slowly, through tiny moments. ❤️⠀
I want to be that house. 🏠💗 I want to be that house. 🏠💗
For new #bonusparents — This is what I want you For new #bonusparents — This is what I want you to know. 💗 (PS: You're not alone! PPS: You've got this!)
Just so you know. 🍷⠀ Just so you know. 🍷⠀
I honestly don't even have words. For anyone who k I honestly don't even have words. For anyone who knows me, you'll know how significant this picture is. When I met Austin and his dad, Austin was reading at a below-kindergarten level. He was bullied in school. He was struggling. And I could see it in his eyes - he was giving up.⠀ ⠀ I'd be lying if I said these past three years have been easy, navigating school and motherhood simultaneously, but I'm so thankful for the wealth of knowledge people have shared with me and the support I've received in both my parent + teaching journeys.⠀ ⠀ I can't, of course, take all the credit for where Austin is right now. But seeing countless hours of planning, organizing, teaching, reading + emotional stress pay off truly brings tears to my eyes.⠀ ⠀ I always feel like God puts us in places and situations where He knows we're meant to be. We may not understand it at the time (and I sure didn't at first) but He's worked in and through me and it's humbling.⠀ ⠀ To see this little boy pick up a book and read with his friend - unsolicited, to see him engage with words, to see him be confident, to see him recognize that he is valuable and supported and loved -- there are no words for that.⠀ ⠀ I'm humbled and blessed by the people who haven't given up on him - or me -- in my fight for his learning. ❤️⠀ ⠀ I hope this post, if nothing else, can be a reminder to you (especially in these crazy times) that you can overcome the obstacles in your path. Don't give up on yourself or on the people who love you.⠀
I thought I knew love. I thought I knew what the e I thought I knew love. I thought I knew what the emotions felt like, how full my heart was when it was entangled with someone else. I thought I knew how much I would be willing to give, to compromise on, to care for and about. I thought I had made sense of the way my soul shifted to make room for someone else. I thought I knew what it was like to be surrounded by people who cared for me, by the family I grew up around, by the hearts I chose to claim and give my own heart away to. ⠀ ⠀ But then, I met a man with a son.⠀ ⠀ But then, I might a bright-eyed kid who taught me about selflessness, about relationships, about myself, and about the inexhaustible boundaries of motherhood.⠀ ⠀ I thought I knew love until I met a child who made me realize that one of the most powerful forms of love is a mother's love. ❤️⠀
Becoming a bonus mom in my early twenties, navigat Becoming a bonus mom in my early twenties, navigating raising a kiddo in the midst of growing myself + my business — ten years ago I would have never imagined myself to be where I am right now. But I am so incredibly blessed.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Almost three years ago now, I said 'yes' to a man and his son. I said 'yes' to this journey, this navigating a life together, this co-raising a child with no experience or 'how-to' manuals. I said 'yes' to figuring it all out as I went, to leading with my heart and jumping in without fear. I said 'yes' because, honestly, it felt right and I couldn't imagine walking away from something that God so clearly had brought me to.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Have there been difficult moments on my journey? Absolutely. Have I lost close relationships, my sense of direction, and even parts of myself along the way? Yes. But I've also rediscovered my path and purpose, learned my boundaries and strengths, recognized my limitations, and experienced the power of my heart. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I've become a mother.⠀⠀ I've created a family.⠀⠀ And I wouldn't trade this life for anything. ❤️⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #lifeofabonusmom⠀⠀ #momishmoments⠀
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DAILY MOTHERHOOD QUOTE:

"I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible."

Uma Thurman
happy kid smiling between parents

NAVIGATING SPECIAL NEEDS:

What Is A “Pandemic Pod” And Should You Consider One?We desperately needed support to stay above water and community to keep us tethered....August 6, 2020

Homeschool Tips From A Mom Who’s Been In The Game Long Before COVID-19Having made the switch to homeschooling in 2014, my hope is to provide homeschool...April 15, 2020

7 Last-Minute Christmas Gifts For Kids With AutismFinding the right gifts for kids with Autism means understanding the child's unique needs...December 21, 2019

SAN DIEGO, TRAVEL + LIFESTYLE:

ways mamas can de-stress with happy baby
Health/Wellness, Mom Hacks

5 Ways Mamas Can De-stress During This Difficult Season

No matter what your version of motherhood is, you are always navigating new roads. But despite the craziness, here are some simple ways mamas can de-stress.

August 5, 2020
sad child who is grieving
Health/Wellness

How To Help A Child Who Is Grieving

Parents/guardians want to support a child who is grieving, but they’re often unsure how to approach the issue of death.

August 4, 2020
happy mom with child hoping to prevent health issues
Health/Wellness

4 Health Issues To Watch For In Children

Your child's health is of utmost importance. Here are a few health issues to watch out for, especially if you're a new parent.

July 31, 2020
ways to help ease your child's anxiety
Health/Wellness, Mom Hacks

9 Ways To Ease Your Child’s Anxiety During COVID-19

Children cope and process in different ways. Here are a few simple, yet powerful ways to help ease your child's anxiety during the quarantine.

April 9, 2020
must-see San Diego Halloween haunts
San Diego

Mom’s Night Out: 3 Must-See San Diego Halloween Haunts

The Disturbance, a three-part scare, is definitely one of the must-see San Diego Halloween haunts for your next mom’s night out.

October 25, 2019

“Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb, or someone else's."

Sheryl Crow

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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM