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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM

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"I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you."

Hi, I'm Marisa— and I'm a bonus mom.

The term 'bonus' mom comes from the idea that a child has biological parents and any additional parental figures are simply a "bonus." That's me, or at least how I've learned to see myself in this equation.

I came into my son's life when he was eight years old. In a whirlwind journey filled with love, challenge, and learning, I quickly saw him as my own.

Biology has never mattered to me.

My son has a father and mother, and I became, at first, "his father's girlfriend," then "stepmom," and now, simply "Marisa."

My role as one of his parents and as a 'bonus mom,' is one of the most important roles I've ever had. And even in the dissolution of my marriage to my son's father—that truth and purpose will never change.

So, here is "Momish Moments"— a page dedicated to sharing my authentic truth as a non-biological primary caregiver. And a space where others can share their hearts and stories, too. Welcome to a safe space.

LATEST MOM HACKS:

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by Marisa Donnelly

momishmoments

A child doesn't have to be mine to be claimed ❤️ A child doesn't have to be mine to be claimed ❤️

Poems for non-traditional mothers, mamas without a title, or moms loving children who are not their own. Excerpts from my latest poetry collection, "Raising the Sun" (link in bio). 

#raisingthesun #marisadonnelly #momishmoments #nontraditionalmotherhood #momwithoutatitle
I don't know how to love with any less than a thou I don't know how to love with any less than a thousand percent. I've always been someone who jumps in, headfirst, says 'yes,' moves forward with every ounce of hope, and joy, and trust in the situation.
⁣
And when it comes to parenting, it was no different for me. 💛
⁣
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PS: If you resonate with this message, you'll probably resonate with the poems in my latest collection, "Raising the Sun," available for pre-order now! (link in bio & below!) 

#raisingthesun #lovewithallofme #bonusmom #marisadonnelly #momishmoments
I was so scared of how getting divorced would chan I was so scared of how getting divorced would change my relationship with my bonus son, my involvement in his life, and who I would be without an official "title." 

But there is hope & healing on the other side of divorce.
And no one can take way your role or your heart. 💕
.
.
.
PS: If you like this sentiment, you might resonate with the words in my latest poetry collection for non-traditional mothers, "Raising the Sun," available for pre-order now! ❤️→ pencilxpaper.com/marisadonnelly

#afterdivorce #momwithoutatitle #nontraditionalmama #raisingthesun #momishmoments
Raising our sons is perhaps the most important wor Raising our sons is perhaps the most important work we'll ever do. 
Thank you for this blessing, this honor, this challenge. ❤️

#raisingboys #boymom #raisingmen #momishmoments #bonusmom
You can call me whatever you like 😉🥂 And if you'r You can call me whatever you like 😉🥂

And if you're a bonus mom, stepmom, or 'mama' bear without the title, please know that you matter & are seen here. 

#momish #bonusmom #nontraditionalmotherhood #momwithoutatitle #marisadonnelly
"Mother" has many definitions. ❤️ #Motherhood #Bo "Mother" has many definitions. ❤️

#Motherhood #BonusMom #MomishMoments
I recognize so much of myself in her quiet, absent I recognize so much of myself in her quiet, absent gaze.
Sometimes you find peace in what you carry,
simply because you’re scared 
that once you put the load down, no one 
will pick it back up. 

#SFGiants #SanFranciscoGiants #MentalLoad #InvisibleLabor #MomOfTheYear
For so many moms, this picture doesn't need an exp For so many moms, this picture doesn't need an explanation. A mom carrying the mental (& physical) load, and a dad along for the ride. 💔

Sure, maybe there was some sort of unspoken agreement. Sure, maybe Mom was restless and wanted to get out of her seat. Sure, maybe Dad wasn't as absent as he looks in the 1-minute reel. . . or maybe the clip is going viral because so many women just *get it.*

As mothers—biological, step, or bonus—we put everything on our shoulders. We carry the world (literally & figuratively) and sometimes we become accustomed to the weight we don't feel it at all. 

May this kind of 'love' never find me—or any other present, high-achieving, do-it-all mama—again. 

May we instead find the men who are partners and village-builders so we don't have to carry babies, boxes, and burdens alone. 

#momishmoments #sanfranciscogiants #momoftheyear #solomotherhood #motheringalone #absenthusband
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FROM THE HEART:

bonus mom and son at basketball game

On Being A More Present Parent

by Marisa Donnelly

Becoming a more present starts with noticing what pulls your attention away, then making small changes to help you really BE with your kids.

October 16, 2026
From The Heart
how to have healing co-parenting

Navigating Co-Parenting Challenges in Blended Families

by Marisa Donnelly

Blending families is a journey full of love and new beginnings; it also comes with its own set of co-parenting challenges.

July 15, 2026
Blended Family Life, From The Heart, Parenting Stories

My Bonus Mom Story

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@_marisadonnelly

For anyone becoming a #stepparent & #bonusparent and feels alone. You are NOT alone. You are making a difference ❤️ #bonusmom #momsoftiktok #youngmom

♬ One Call Away (Instrumental Version) - Soft Background Music

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DAILY MOTHERHOOD QUOTE:

"I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible."

Uma Thurman
happy kid smiling between parents

NAVIGATING SPECIAL NEEDS:

How To Support A Child Dealing With Sensory OverloadSensory overload with children is very difficult to navigate, especially as a parent! Here...June 2, 2026

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Creating A Welcoming Home For Your Disabled Foster ChildrenIf you are considering bringing disabled foster children into your home, you must have...April 10, 2024

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“Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb, or someone else's."

Sheryl Crow

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We are a website, community, blog, and resource base for parents — both bio and bonus — to learn, grow, and celebrate the beautiful craziness of raising kids.

Click here to learn more.

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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM