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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM

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my momish moments, diary of a bonus mom

"I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you."

LATEST MOM HACKS:

happy kid on a toddler bike
November 29, 2019

7 Black Friday Bike Deals You Don’t Want To Miss

If your little ones (or big kiddos) love biking, here are some of the best Black Friday bike deals...

by Marisa Donnelly
woman doing DIY home cleaning
November 26, 2019

8 DIY Home Cleaning Tips (For Less Than $5)

Whether you're hosting for the holidays or just looking to give your home a makeover, here are some DIY...

by Marisa Donnelly
tips for winterizing your home
November 25, 2019

18 DIY Tips For ‘Winterizing’ Your Home

If you live in a chilly state, here are some DIY winterizing tips to help you get your home...

by Marisa Donnelly
happy kid playing with innovative toys for kids
July 12, 2019

7 Best Innovative Toys For Kids

If you're looking to increase your child's higher thinking and creative skills, here are a few of the best...

by Marisa Donnelly

FROM THE HEART:

candid bonus parenting advice

Candid Bonus Parenting Advice You Need To Read Right Now

by Marisa Donnelly

Here's some candid bonus parenting advice: stop comparing, stop stressing, and stop wishing you could do or be different. Simply show up and be you.

October 10, 2019
From The Heart
happy child eating watermelon in the bathtub

What People Don’t Understand About Being A Bonus Parent

by Marisa Donnelly

What people don’t understand about being a bonus parent is how much of your heart is filled, every time that little person walks through the door.

July 15, 2019
From The Heart
parent and child feet, how taking care of children changes you

13 Ways Taking Care Of Children Changes You

by Marisa Donnelly

Taking care of children changes you; loving children changes you. You go from being selfish to prioritizing a little person’s needs above your own.

July 10, 2019
From The Heart
My Bonus Mom Story

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Our Unfiltered Life:

Instagram post 2191203612054845297_13447781425 Growing up, my parents always inspired + pushed me to be confident in who I was and what I liked. I was the girl who wore pigtails and dresses just as much as cleats and soccer shorts. I played with dolls and in the dirt.⠀ ⠀ My mom was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life and it wasn't until I was older that I realized how wonderful it was having her there after school, in the summer, and for all the games and activities I had each week. But she taught me that I could be whatever I wanted — 9-to-5 mom, stay-at-home mom — there was no right or wrong.⠀ ⠀ Now that I'm a #bonusmom I'm learning more and more about how #genderroles shape us, and how, even in 2019, we still see them.⠀ ⠀ One of the things I love to do the most for my family is cook. My boyfriend is an excellent cook (in fact, he used to be a restaurant chef!) but I often take on this role because it's something I love. He does the cleaning because it's something he's better at. I do the laundry. He hangs the photos on the wall. We both pick up dog poop. 😂⠀ ⠀ I often see people judging people (especially moms judging other mamas) and it breaks my heart. Maybe you grew up with a dad who stayed at home so it seems 'weird' to see a dad who's traveling for work each week. Or maybe your parents both worked, so you feel like it's 'better' for parents to work than stay home 24/7 with their kids. Everyone has their opinions, biases, and ideas of what's *right,* but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone.⠀ ⠀ As a #feminist, I'm passionate about pushing back against stereotypes and gender roles, especially for women. But at the same time, I'm proud of being a mom and doing some of the things we stereotype as *mom* tasks, too. (Food for thought: why do we even label these as 'mom' or 'dad' tasks anyways!?) ⠀ ⠀ Honestly, though, at the end of the day, everyone (and every house) is different. So I think we could all benefit from a little less judging and a little more understanding. At the end of the day, we're all doing our best.⠀ ⠀ #momishmoments
Instagram post 2190394447724212303_13447781425 I don't know about you, but I'm SO OFTEN finding fault with myself. I think it's because I still have this 'identity crisis' / 'imposter syndrome' where I'm a mom, but not really a mom.⠀ ⠀ You other #bonusparents know what I mean?⠀ ⠀ Even though I'm doing all the motherhood stuff, even though I'm raising this little man, even though I'm throwing so much time and energy into helping with his dyslexia, sometimes I really question whether or not I'm making an impact or really being the person he needs.⠀ ⠀ BUT I know that's my mind making me feel guilty. One of the things I'm continually reminding myself of is this truth (and I hope you repeat it to yourself, too): MY EFFORT IS MAKING AN IMPACT.⠀ ⠀ You're doing great, okay!? ⠀ #momishmoments⠀ #parentingtruths
Instagram post 2190267747967392752_13447781425 Spread your wings, little man.⠀ ⠀ Today might be difficult. Tomorrow might be even harder. The journey won't always be easy, and I'm sure you'll want to give up at times. But I'm here for you.⠀ ⠀ I'm here for every bruise, for every bump, for every broken bone. I'm here for every tear, every crumpled paper, every single time you throw that pencil down in frustration. I'm here for the moments when you walk across that stage, when you hold that award to your chest, and even when you ask, for the thousandth time, to eat junk food before dinner.⠀ ⠀ I'm here for all the little + big.⠀ So spread your wings and be you.⠀ ⠀ I'm here, and always will be.⠀ #momishmoments⠀ #diaryofabonusmom
Instagram post 2186594056851110754_13447781425 Even the little things matter. I hope you remember that. I hope, even when you're exhausted, you realize that everything will pay off in the end. I hope, when you get discouraged, you realize that you ARE making a difference even if it doesn't feel like it. I hope, when your child gets frustrated, you know that things won't always be this hard or this difficult. Each day is a little step.⠀ ⠀ And they'll get it. ⠀ At their own pace & in their own way. ❤️ ⠀ #momishmoments
Instagram post 2186060231951606313_13447781425 Can we talk about navigating #playdates for a minute?⠀ ⠀ What no one told me about before I became a #bonusmom was the weird transition into becoming a personal assistant, scheduler, and facilitator for your children's playtime 😂 ⠀ ⠀ No one prepared me for how weird it would be to suddenly be thrown into conversations with moms and dads of Austin's new friends (with whom I shared little in common). No one prepared me for how strange it is to have to introduce yourself over and over again as "Austin's dad's girlfriend" and accidentally saying "Austin's girlfriend's dad" a time or two 😂😂 ⠀ ⠀ And no one prepared me for the judgement I would receive, too, when people confused me as Austin's nanny, sister, or even point-blank asked Austin if he even knew me at pick-up time 😂 Ah, the joys of looking sixteen.⠀ ⠀ Anyways, it's really weird to suddenly become a mom and not really 'fit' into the group of moms around you. It's really weird to suddenly have to learn how to be a 'cool mom' but not too laid back, reserved but not too shy, and outgoing but not too crazy. ⠀ ⠀ And it's even weirder, to suddenly find those people with whom you just 'fit.' The people who just 'get it'. Those good friends that come into your life accidentally and you can't help but thank God for. ❤️ #momishmoments #bonusmomdiaries
Instagram post 2185102093920446797_13447781425 I love this poem because I think the message is so powerful. As parents—biological OR bonus—we truly have the power to change the world. It starts at home. It starts with how we treat our children. It starts with love.⠀ ⠀ It always starts with love.⠀ ⠀ ______⠀ 📷: @jacq.ann⠀ #momishmoments
Instagram post 2184336170775130530_13447781425 Maybe you'll never be the one I gave birth to, but that doesn't make you any less of my son. Maybe you'll never be the baby I taught to walk, but you'll still be the young man I'm helping raise. Maybe I'll never be anything on paper, but I'll always love you with a fierceness no words can describe. Maybe I'll never be your *official* parent, but you'll always be the child I chose.⠀ ⠀ I love you.⠀ And sometimes we don't need labels for that.
Instagram post 2183823572862278463_13447781425 What I've learned in being a #bonusparent and in life in general, is that sometimes a simple change in approach can change everything.⠀ ⠀ Rather than saying, "I can't" or "My child can't," say, "Let's try something different." Rather than being frustrated about what you have left to do or accomplish, focus on where you've been and how many things you've already overcome. Rather than looking at the ways life is treating you unfairly, remind yourself that everyone has struggles.⠀ ⠀ And you're doing just fine.⠀ #momishmoments⠀ #honestmotherhood
Instagram post 2183607473579460548_13447781425 #littlethings — it's always about the little things for us, the little moments that are challenging, messy + yet somehow still beautiful.⠀ ⠀ This is one of those moments for me. A moment where I'm stopped in my tracks (and doubled over in laughter). A moment where I'm reminded that my boyfriend's son, who was reading at a kindergarten level at the start of last school year, is now emerging second grade, can do simple things he couldn't before. Like write "noods" (noodles) and card board 🤣 on our grocery list.⠀ ⠀ Sure, you can look at this and think it's inappropriate or silly, but I see progress. I see a kid who's confident and willing to try new things. I see shared laughter and connections as a family.⠀ ⠀ I see a silly word, yes.⠀ But I also see hope.⠀ #momishmoments⠀ #parentsofdyslexics⠀
Instagram post 2182797041302124769_13447781425 I just finished reading "Secret Life of the Dyslexic Child" by Robert Frank, PHD, a #dyslexic himself. Honestly, the book was so eye-opening. Everything I thought I understood about reading + learning disabilities was challenged, and my perception of what Austin ACTUALLY thinks and feels was totally changed.⠀ ⠀ Above all, my biggest takeaway is that I have a HUGE influence on how Austin sees the world. All of us parents do for our kiddos.⠀ ⠀ Sometimes it feels like we're alone in our battles, or that we're just powerless to what happens to our children. But we CAN make a huge difference, and a lot of that comes from our attitude + positivity.⠀ ⠀ So #parentsofdyslexics — don't give up, okay?! ❤️⠀
Instagram post 2182584940298129851_13447781425 Some candid #bonusparenting advice you need to hear right now:⠀ ⠀ 1. You’re going to make mistakes. ⠀ ⠀ That’s a part of the process. You’re going to say the wrong things, show up late, send an email you wish you could ‘un-send’ and bite your tongue reading through text messages you wish you could delete. But it’s okay.⠀ ⠀ Stop counting your failures and start focusing on the blessings. Despite the mistakes, you’re doing better than you think.⠀ ⠀ 2. It’s not a competition.⠀ ⠀ 3. You have to stop measuring yourself to journeys that you aren’t walking.⠀ ⠀ We want to compare ourselves to other people. We want to judge our parenting on a scale of others we admire. We spend so much time looking ourselves in the mirror, trying so desperately to wish something else onto our skin—but it’s useless.⠀ ⠀ Because who we are isn’t meant to be a carbon copy of someone else. We aren’t meant to step into the lives, the families as a mirror image of someone else. We’re meant to be us.⠀ ⠀ So here’s some candid bonus parenting advice: stop comparing, stop stressing, stop measuring, and stop wishing you could do or be something different. Simply show up and be you. #momishmoments⠀ ⠀ ______⠀ 📷: @denisekophoto
Instagram post 2182345925770716928_13447781425 Children have a way of seeing the truth.⠀ We have a responsibility of honesty. ❤️
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DAILY MOTHERHOOD QUOTE:

"I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible."

Uma Thurman
happy kid smiling between parents

NAVIGATING SPECIAL NEEDS:

5 Things I Wish People Knew About My Son’s DyslexiaDyslexia is a silent learning disability. It’s not something you can clearly see or...November 16, 2019

7 Encouraging Affirmations For The Parent Of A Special Needs ChildIf you haven’t heard this today or ever—I believe in you. You can do...May 3, 2019

Loving & Raising A Child With Special NeedsThis is our journey: I hope you laugh with me, smile with me, and...March 4, 2019

SAN DIEGO, TRAVEL + LIFESTYLE:

must-see San Diego Halloween haunts
San Diego

Mom’s Night Out: 3 Must-See San Diego Halloween Haunts

The Disturbance, a three-part scare, is definitely one of the must-see San Diego Halloween haunts for your next mom’s night out.

October 25, 2019
happy girl holding younger child by palm trees
Mom Hacks, San Diego, Travel

Mama On A Budget: 12 Ways To Save Money In The City

If you’re looking to get the max out of your time while being conservative with your wallet, here are 12 tips to help you save money in the city.

July 2, 2019
mom posing in front of all-natural eczema products by Keller Works
Health/Wellness

4 All-Natural Eczema Products For Mamas And Their Little Ones

This mama, beauty boss, and founder of Keller Works, Krystn Keller, created organic, non-toxic, all-natural eczema products to soothe her son's severe skin.

May 7, 2019
kid swinging upside-down on playground
San Diego

8 Best Playgrounds In San Diego

From setting up a picnic lunch, to playing a pickup game of soccer, to watching the sunset from the monkey bars, here are the best playgrounds in San Diego.

April 30, 2019
woman with face mask on staring at camera
Health/Wellness, Mom Hacks

The Lazy Mom’s Guide To Healthy, Effortless Skincare

Regardless of what you currently do or don’t do for your skin, here’s the lazy mom’s guide to skincare (without all the hassle and overpriced products).

April 29, 2019

“Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb, or someone else's."

Sheryl Crow

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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM