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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM

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my momish moments, diary of a bonus mom

"I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you."

LATEST MOM HACKS:

happy family creating a safe home
February 24, 2023

3 Simple Tips For Creating A Healthier Family Home

Whether you're a new parent or been doing this dance for many years, here are a few simple tips...

by Marisa Donnelly
happy mom and child playing together
January 29, 2023

6 Tips For Creating A Safe & Carefree Home

It can be hard to create a safe and carefree home, but with just a few simple changes and...

by Cali Anderson
child learning to take responsibility and do chores
January 26, 2023

5 Simple Ways To Teach Responsibility

Whether you're a new or veteran parent, here are some simple suggestions for how to teach responsibility to your...

by Marisa Donnelly
woman driving family car
January 17, 2023

How To Ensure Your Family Car Is Safe

You rely on your vehicle to transport your family to/from everywhere! That’s why it’s important to ensure your family...

by Katy Kipper

See More:

FROM THE HEART:

happy father with his child

How To Find Meaning And Purpose In Parenthood

by Cali Anderson

Whether you're a new parent or been through this journey for many years, here are some tips for finding meaning and purpose in parenthood.

March 2, 2023
From The Heart
family putting up a Christmas tree together

The Gift of Presence Over Presents

by jamibrouillette

Presence over presents: Let’s gift our presence—our undivided time, our full attention, and our love—to our friends and family.

December 1, 2022
From The Heart, Holidays
Marisa Donnelly & son reading, Momish Moments

4 Ways To Help Your Child Cope With Big Life Changes

by Marisa Donnelly

There are many ways to help your child cope with big life changes, but everything starts with empathy. Meet your child where he/she is.

November 29, 2022
From The Heart, Health/Wellness
My Bonus Mom Story

Follow Our Journey:

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SEARCH OUR SITE:

Our Unfiltered Life:

My motherhood story is nothing like how I imagined My motherhood story is nothing like how I imagined becoming a mom would be. . . yet, it's been my greatest, craziest, and most wonderful adventure.

And I wouldn't change it for the world. 💗 #momishmoments
One of the hardest parts about being a stepmom is One of the hardest parts about being a stepmom is fighting through my own trauma, insecurities, fears, and pain-points to try to keep them from becoming part of my son's identity. I want, so deeply, to be a good mom and to love my son unconditionally, fully, and perfectly, but sometimes that's not easy (and not even realistic).⁣
⁣
Being a stepmom is hard, and even harder because I don't always feel like I was 'ready' to jump into motherhood when it happened. In a perfect world, I would have read more books, done more research, and really worked on myself before stepping into my son's life. But that wasn't my story. And even though it's been 'harder' in a lot of ways, I'm thankful because I've learned — we've learned — together.⁣
⁣
So much of life + relationships, I've realized, is recognizing where we've been hurt or where we've hurt others, and putting in the work to move through/out of that and into healing. I'm not fully healed (are any of us?!) but the most important thing I've learned (and am continually working on) is making sure that my pain doesn't become a part of my son's story.⁣
⁣
I won't always say or do things right. But my hope is to love, to be humble, to apologize when I'm wrong, to keep going, and to be the best version of myself — for him and for our family — the family we've created. ❤️ #momishmoments
Don't be afraid to love fiercely, explore fervent Don't be afraid to love fiercely, 
explore fervently, live boldly,
& enjoy the journey
along the way. ❤️
Sometimes the little things mean the most. ❤️ Sometimes the little things mean the most. ❤️

Soaking up this special holiday and all the lovey vibes. Valentine's Day has always been different in my motherhood journey because suddenly it wasn't a time for just celebrating romantic love. . . it was about celebrating what it means to be a family.

I don't have just one valentine, I have two! (& 'Steeds' the dog) 😂 🐕

#happyvalentinesday
#stepmomsofinstagram
#thelittlethings
#momishmoments
𝟯 (𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘆!) 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗧𝗼 𝟯 (𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘆!) 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗧𝗼 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲: As a stepparent, creating a healthy balance between your work, personal goals, self-care, and family can be challenging. Here are a few tips to help you prioritize what's most important (without sacrificing anything you care about in the process).⁣
⁣
 → 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 & 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀⁣
 → 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 '𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳' 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸⁣
 → 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 '𝗢𝗻' & '𝗢𝗳𝗳' 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀⁣
⁣
#momishmoments⁣
#stepbystepparents⁣
#stepparentselfcare
I stumbled across this image in my camera feed and I stumbled across this image in my camera feed and chuckled. There are so many layers to this picture. When I look at this picture, I'm reminded of the chaos and craziness of 2021. I see the calendar that I only part-way finished, the haphazard way this area of our home became a 'docking station of random items, and how that's such a representation of life, parenting, and family. 

When I look at this picture, I see the vacuum we bought that became the dreaded chore in our house. I see the dog toy that became the means of transitioning our skittish shelter pup into the family. I see the coats that always built up on these hangers and weighed things down so much that, despite my constant warnings, ended up breaking this rack a time or two. 😂

When I look at this picture, I see the first little house that we lived in — the cream, white, and turquoise walls, and the tiny kitchen where we danced around one another, made memories, and became a real family. 

When I look at this picture, I have bittersweet feelings about a time period in our lives that was so weird, and pure, and special. . . and now we're living and growing somewhere else, making new memories.

It's funny how quickly life shifts, changes, and becomes new.

I don't know, really, what I'm trying to say other than hold the little moments close, hold your people close, and take lots of pictures. Life really does move so fast. 💔

#momishmoments
#unfilteredmotherhood
#littlemoments
A reminder I can't get enough of. You can raise y A reminder I can't get enough of.

You can raise your child to be the absolute best, you can do all the 'right' things, you can purchase all the organic foods and enroll him/her in the best classes with the best teachers. You can spend all your time, and money, and effort striving to be the best parent you can be, and that doesn't guarantee that everything will work out perfectly.

Your child will still make mistakes, fall down, get hurt, choose different paths, and maybe even stray far from the plans you intended for them. . . 

but that doesn't mean they failed. 
+ it doesn't mean you failed.

You are an amazing parent - regardless of your child's perceived 'success.' So, stop trying to measure your child by a metric of 'value' in your own mind (or society's, or the world, for that matter). Success is not a singular, linear path. And just because your child isn't 'measuring up' doesn't mean that you are not a good parent. 

#momishmoments
#honestmotherhood
#unfilteredmotherhood
I'm sure other mothers feel this way, but there ar I'm sure other mothers feel this way, but there are moments when I see my (step)son and his father next to each other and my heart just squeezes in my chest. 💞⁣
 ⁣
It's such a weird and unique feeling, especially for me, because I'm not the biological mother. Because this child is not, *technically speaking,* mine. Because these two people are not related to me by bonds of blood and DNA. ⁣
⁣
So, sometimes it feels strange — and at the same time, so incredibly wonderful — to feel this deep-seeded emotional bond to the both of them. ⁣
⁣
To look at them and realize that despite the lack of *biology,* they are my family. The family we built. The family we created through laughter, and vulnerability, and sweat, and tears. ⁣
⁣
The family I chose, and who chose me.⁣
⁣
& Maybe I'll never be the *real* mom. ⁣
Maybe my son will never look like me.⁣
Maybe I'll never be the first wife of my soon-to-be-husband.⁣
⁣
But maybe none of that really matters in the end.⁣
We're still a family —  a real family — the family we chose.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#momishmoments⁣
#blendedfamily⁣
#familyichose ⁣
#stepbystepparents
Dear Moms & Dads, Please remember this ↓ NO ONE Dear Moms & Dads, Please remember this ↓
NO ONE will advocate for your child better than you can. 👊

I've learned this lesson in my own journey, and as I've moved into a different stage of life, education, and advocacy with my stepson, I'm ready to share more of my personal story. 

Don't get me wrong, there are SO many systems, programs, practices, providers, schools, teachers, etc. that are incredible. . . but there are also so many that, unfortunately, don't have your child's best interests at heart.

And what I've learned that it's up to YOU, as the PARENT, to be your child's voice, your child's biggest cheerleader, your child's biggest supporter, and your child's advocate (even when it gets messy).

So, advocate like a mother. 💅 

#momishmoments
#advocatelikeamother
#specialneedsparent
𝟰 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗙𝗼 𝟰 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀: From a stepmama who's been there, made mistakes, and is still learning every single day. 💞⁣
⁣
𝟭. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲⁣
You have to realize what an impact you're making. Unfortunately, you might not get recognition, and that's okay. But you're the one who's showing up and loving, and kids will see that and feel that (even if they can't articulate it right away).⁣
⁣
𝟮. 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗕𝗲 𝗔𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗧𝗼 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀⁣
Boundaries (around what you will/won't do or about your new role) are important for your sanity, your family, and for the child(ren). It's not wrong to have boundaries; it's healthy.⁣
⁣
𝟯. 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗜𝗻⁣
Lean into the difficulty, into the messiness, into the craziness. . . this is a new and ever-changing journey, but lean in and trust the process. It will be chaotic and strange, but it will be so darn beautiful.⁣
⁣
𝟰. 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗧𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁⁣
Remember who you are and what you decided to do. Know that's admirable, that YOU are admirable and strong. And know that you are heard, seen, and loved.⁣
⁣
You've got this. 💞⁣
⁣
#momishmoments⁣
#stepbystepparents⁣
#honeststepmom⁣
#stepmomtruth⁣
#bonusmom
Family isn't defined only by last names or blood; Family isn't defined only by last names or blood;
it's defined by commitment & by love. 💞

#momishmoments
The hardest part of being a special needs mama (th The hardest part of being a special needs mama (that no one talks about) is the highs and the lows.⁣
⁣
One minute you're on top of the world, feeling like your child is making progress, feeling like the support team understands your concerns, feeling like you *finally* found the right provider(s). . . and then you look at a report and read your child's deficits on paper and suddenly get that pit of hopelessness in your stomach.⁣
⁣
And even though you know it's okay,⁣
it's getting better,⁣
it's a process,⁣
it's a non-linear path. . .⁣
⁣
it's still so hard.⁣
⁣
And maybe you can keep a smile on your face for your kiddo, but when you face the reality, when you read those difficult words, when you're the one paying the bills and reading the reports and hiding behind-the-scenes, feeling like every day is an uphill battle. . . it can be hard to encourage yourself.⁣
⁣
So, if you can relate to this - just know that I see you.⁣
Mama, you're not alone. ❤️⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#specialneedsmama #specialneedsmom #specialneedsparenting #specialneeds #honestmotherhood #honestparenting #hardestpartofmotherhood #hardestpart #stepmom #bonusmom #dyslexia #dyslexiaawareness #dyslexiashow #stepmomsupport #stepbystepparents #momishmoments #honeststepmom #stepmama #specialneedsparent #unfilteredmotherhood
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DAILY MOTHERHOOD QUOTE:

"I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible."

Uma Thurman
happy kid smiling between parents

NAVIGATING SPECIAL NEEDS:

5 Ways To Support A Loved One With A DisabilityOne of the best ways you can support a loved one with a disability...December 9, 2022

Sensory-Friendly Birthday Party IdeasHere are some tips for throwing a sensory-friendly birthday party to avoid overwhelming the...October 10, 2022

Benefits And Challenges Of A Special Needs Foster Care AdoptionAdoptions are beautiful and challenging, especially when it comes to special needs foster care...August 11, 2022

SAN DIEGO, TRAVEL + LIFESTYLE:

happy child eating food
Health/Wellness

How To Raise Healthy Children (In This Crazy World)

This is how you raise healthy children: Just try to be the best parent you can be; your kids will inevitably benefit.

January 7, 2023
family going on a family hiking trip
Lifestyle, Travel

Tips For Your Next Family Hiking Trip

Here are some tips to help you prepare for your next family hiking trip, with respect to all ages, levels, and safety concerns.

December 12, 2022
girl living off the grid
Lifestyle, Travel

How To Start Living ‘Off The Grid’

When it comes to 'living off the grid,' the idea is to simplify. Rather than being tethered to 'things,' you're choosing/curating your space.

December 5, 2022
girl with cotton candy
Health/Wellness

How To Lower Your Child’s Sugar Intake

It is possible to lower your child's sugar intake. But it's about gradually lowering it, rather than removing it completely.

December 5, 2022
Marisa Donnelly & son reading, Momish Moments
From The Heart, Health/Wellness

4 Ways To Help Your Child Cope With Big Life Changes

There are many ways to help your child cope with big life changes, but everything starts with empathy. Meet your child where he/she is.

November 29, 2022

“Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb, or someone else's."

Sheryl Crow

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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM