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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM

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my momish moments, diary of a bonus mom

"I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you."

LATEST MOM HACKS:

online learning
April 1, 2020

5 Tips For Parents Navigating Online Learning

Parents are now supporting a household, creating daily routines, and navigating online learning. It's overwhelming. But please remember you're...

by Marisa Donnelly
best movies to watch with your kids and add more screen time
March 24, 2020

Why You Should Add More Screen Time to Your Schedule

It’s important for YOU, as a parent, to add more screen time to your schedule too...that is, more screen...

by Stasi McAteer
being a stepparent and why I jumped in
March 23, 2020

The Honest Truth About Being A Stepparent (And Why I Jumped In)

Being a stepparent is like being a superhero. We go where no man/woman dares to go and fight evil...

by Franco Zavala
activities to do with kids over break
December 29, 2019

10 (Fun!) Educational Activities To Do With Kids This Holiday Break

If you’re looking for engaging educational activities to do with your kids this holiday break, here are a few...

by Marisa Donnelly

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FROM THE HEART:

dear mom stop with the mom guilt you are doing great

Dear Mama: Stop With The ‘Mom Guilt’

by Marisa Donnelly

Being a good mom doesn't mean constantly living with mom guilt. Being a good mom is about loving yourself, even if (and inevitably when) you're imperfect.

March 11, 2020
From The Heart
being the second wife doesn't make you any less

On Being The Second Wife

by Marisa Donnelly

As the second wife, I am not the second choice — I am the second chance.

March 10, 2020
From The Heart
happy family loving a dad and his son

5 Things I’ve Learned Loving A Dad And His Son

by Marisa Donnelly

I am a bonus mom to my boyfriend's son and frequently share about our journey. Here are five things I've learned in loving a dad and his son.

January 5, 2020
From The Heart, Parenting Stories
My Bonus Mom Story

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Our Unfiltered Life:

Reading this to myself over and over again, especi Reading this to myself over and over again, especially right now. I'm not perfect, and that's okay. I'm not going to do everything right, and that's okay. I'm here, and that's enough. I love and am loved, and that's what matters. ❤️#momish⠀
*The Value of Little Things When the World Feels H *The Value of Little Things When the World Feels Heavy* — I'm a big believer in the little things. I've always resonated with small gestures and words because I honestly feel that the bigger moments (although beautiful) carry less significance than the day-to-day.⠀ ⠀ In this crazy, unsettling time of a global pandemic, I think it's important, more than ever, to focus on those #littlethings. Sometimes it's a gesture, like someone cleaning the kitchen without being asked. Sometimes it's a hug that lasts for an extra second. And sometimes it's the unexpected.⠀ ⠀ For me, it was getting bowls of ice cream ready for our family movie night and coming into the room where Austin had given each person a 'spot' on the couch. My name tag: "B Mom" (Bonus Mom).⠀ ⠀ I hadn't asked him to write this. I didn't even know he picked up on the fact that our family friends call their stepmother 'B Mom.' This tiny, unexpected moment changed the entire day for me. It was a reminder that even though things are uncertain, unsteady, and downright scary — I can hold onto the fact that love will get us through.⠀ ⠀ Don't forget the little things, even in the craziness. You have people who love you — that, above all else, matters right now. ❤️ #momishmoments
Dear Parents: We are all in this together. ❤️⠀ ⠀ It's okay to be overwhelmed right now. It's okay to feel stressed, inadequate, or confused. But please don't beat yourself up! You're can't possibly be a perfect parent, caregiver, full-time teacher, breadwinner & support system right now.⠀ ⠀ Being there for your kids is the most important thing. Getting out of bed each morning is enough. And fighting through another day with a smile on your face is an accomplishment in itself. ⠀ ⠀ Even if it feels like the days are flying by, your kids will not be at a detriment with a few days or even weeks off of school. Try not to panic. Your children will pick up on your energy, so if you're stressed about them falling behind, they'll feel that unconscious pressure.⠀ ⠀ Instead, try to encourage your child that this is time to ‘reset’ the brain and become more resilient. And in the meantime, take a deep breath!⠀ ⠀ You've got this.⠀ ⠀ (For more tips for #onlinelearning head to our website: mymomishmoments.com) #momishmoments⠀
We are living in uncertain times. There’s no que We are living in uncertain times. There’s no questioning that. With jobs shifting to remote work and schools closing with no set re-open dates, families are faced with many obstacles—many they feel completely unprepared for. ⠀ ⠀ Suddenly, parents are asked to juggle supporting a household, creating daily routines, and providing an education. It’s overwhelming, and for some, downright scary. But for all the parents navigating online learning right now—please know you’re not alone.⠀ ⠀ Here's what you need to remember: ⠀ ⠀ 1. Don’t carry the world on your shoulders.⠀ ⠀ If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this new normal, it’s that you can’t shoulder the full responsibility. Just because school is out right now doesn’t mean it’s your job, as a mother or father, to educate your child in every single subject. Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you should make yourself available 24/7. ⠀ ⠀ In this new way of living, it’s impossible to be everything. So please, take it easy on yourself.⠀ ⠀ 2. Create a (loose) schedule to structure your time.⠀ ⠀ Children (even older children!) thrive on routines. The structure, the normalcy, and the dependability of a set schedule will help your child(ren) to feel the order of their regular life, even in these uncertain times.⠀ ⠀ 3. Try to build a positive home-learning environment.⠀ ⠀ Sometimes these *good feelings* around school can be made by creating a schedule, so that your child knows what to expect. Sometimes it’s more about the conversations you have leading up to starting.⠀ ⠀ Kids are little sponges; they absorb quite a lot, so it’s really important to keep them in the loop and encourage them as we move through this new terrain together.⠀ ⠀ For more tips + resources, head to our website: mymomishmoments.com #momishmoments
May we know them, ⠀ may we be them, ⠀ may we r May we know them, ⠀ may we be them, ⠀ may we raise them. ❤️⠀ #InternationalWomensDay⠀
"The most rewarding part about being a bonus dad i "The most rewarding part about being a bonus dad is watching Layla learn and grow. Seeing her accomplish little tasks she has been trying to accomplish is such a great feeling. The best thing she says to me that gets me every time is “Dad, I freaking love you!” She even tells Tiffany, my wife, “Mom, Dad freaking loves me!” when I’m not with them.⠀ ⠀ Everything about being a bonus dad is rewarding, even when we have to discipline. Fatherhood is a learning experience so I wouldn’t change anything; I love everything about being Layla’s dad."⠀ — @j_daddy3317 #becomingabonusdad⠀⠀ ⠀ _____⠀ To submit your own stories, visit mymomishmoments.com and look for 'contact.' Send us an email or DM us! 💞 #momishmoments ⠀
I took Austin to the doctor the other day. Poor li I took Austin to the doctor the other day. Poor little guy is always catching colds. "I have a weak immune system," he says through his stuffy nose as the doctor walks in. We exchange a smile over his tuft of messy, sandy blonde hair.⠀ ⠀ We leave the appointment and go to the lab. He's getting his blood drawn for the first time, an allergy test to rule anything else out of the equation. "It's going to hurt a little," I say, as he wiggles into the chair. "But you're brave. Braver than me."⠀ ⠀ He nods his head and looks down at the pale white skin at the crook of his elbow. "Is that my vein?' he asks, tracing the line of blue.⠀ ⠀ "Yes," the nurse says, "Now you have to hold really still, okay?"⠀ ⠀ "Here," I say, "Look at me. Let's talk about the weekend."⠀ ⠀ His brown eyes look at mine and I start to tell him about the plans for Saturday, about the weather, about taking our dog Styles to meet his friends at the beach. As the needle enters his skin he doesn't break eye contact. I watch his little eyes flutter wider as he grimaces with pain.⠀ ⠀ "You're doing so good, bud," I say, "You're almost done. And then we can decide if we want to get Mexican food on Friday or Saturday after the beach, okay?"⠀ ⠀ He nods his head, looks at me in a way that almost breaks my heart. The trust, expressed in that tiny moment. The knowing, that even though it hurts, I'm here, squeezing his little hand.⠀ ⠀ And I always will be.⠀ ⠀ We step out of the office moments later, and he unconsciously reaches for my hand as we walk to the car. "So, I think Saturday," he says.⠀ ⠀ "Saturday?"⠀ ⠀ "For Mexican food."⠀ This is the childlike innocence, the finding something beautiful, even when it hurts. This is the little things. Tiny moments I wouldn't trade for the world. #momishmoments⠀
Dear Mom, I know it feels like there are a thousan Dear Mom, I know it feels like there are a thousand different ‘solutions’ to the struggles your child is facing. I know there are countless books and articles, magazines and posts about what you can do to help and to ‘fix.’ I know, sometimes, it feels like there are so many things wrong. But your child doesn’t need ‘fixing.’⠀ ⠀ Your child was made exactly as who he or she is.⠀ ⠀ _____⠀ For more articles on #motherhood check out mymomishmoments.com ❤️ #momishmoments ⠀
Three plates, three sets of shoes, three people in Three plates, three sets of shoes, three people in the family portrait hanging on the wall in the front room. This is the family I chose. ⠀ ⠀ This is home.⠀ ⠀ [Excerpts from my article on being a #bonusmom on @Medium. Search for 'Marisa Donnelly' on Medium and you'll see it at the top of my page. 💞For more writing, follow my writer account, @_marisadonnelly!] #momishmoments⠀
What I wish people knew about my son’s dyslexia What I wish people knew about my son’s dyslexia is that sometimes there are no signs.⠀ ⠀ Dyslexia is silent. My son can open a book and flip through pages without reading; he can access his assistive technology and get through the assignment without learning anything at all. And it’s not because he doesn’t care. It’s not because he’s ignoring, avoiding, or simply quitting. Sometimes you just can’t see what he’s going through because it’s a battle he’s facing alone.⠀ ⠀ What I wish people knew about my son’s dyslexia is that it doesn’t make him stupid or slow.⠀ ⠀ Just because he struggles with reading and writing doesn’t mean he’s not capable. Just because he has a hard time understanding his right from his left doesn’t mean he’s dumb. Yes, some of the things that are ‘basic’ or ‘easy’ to you might be complicated for him. And yes, he might do things that make you shake your head or roll your eyes.⠀ ⠀ But he’s not stupid; he just learns differently.⠀ ⠀ What I wish people knew about my son’s dyslexia is that it doesn’t define him.⠀ ⠀ He may carry his learning disabilities like a badge plastered to his chest, “This is what’s wrong with me.” He may get down and discouraged on himself and the things he can’t do. He may feel like his life is centered around tests, and assessments, and people who are constantly talking about his needs.⠀ ⠀ But his dyslexia isn’t who he is; he is always a person first.⠀
I've always been an independent person. When I was I've always been an independent person. When I was in college, I worked multiple part-time jobs and spent a lot of time alone. I knew I was going to move across the country and I wanted to save up money, so I buried myself in books, in my writing, and in my work, trying my best to carve a new path. I valued my own company, my own drive, my own sense of self-worth.⠀ ⠀ Becoming a #bonusmom has changed that entire narrative. (And in a good way.) If I'm being honest, I used to be the type of person who judged those that put aside their careers and dreams to have children. I thought, in some way, they were sacrificing their true selves for their families, and that felt inherently wrong.⠀ ⠀ What I've realized, though, as I've gone through my own journey and made *sacrifices* and choices of my own, is that nothing about starting a family is a sacrifice. Sure, your path changes, but so does your heart. Sometimes you put aside your *plans* to put others first. And sometimes you put aside others to prioritize yourself. It's a give and take. And there's nothing wrong with doing both — family and career — either.⠀ ⠀ Children change everything. And that doesn't mean I've given up on my business, on my passions, and on the things that matter to me. It means I've realized that MORE matters — more being this boy and his father and the life we're building together. 👪⠀
There is something about the simplicity of our fam There is something about the simplicity of our family that I’ve come to appreciate. Nights sitting on the patio, listening to the sound of distant waves. Nose kisses and bedtime songs as I tuck his son into bed. Mornings with fuzzy slippers and warm coffee brewing as I pack lunches and decorate their vitamins on the edges of ceramic plates like smiley faces.⠀ ⠀ These are our simple moments that I never thought I’d find comfort in, settling into a life that I’ve come to identify as mine, as ours.⠀ ⠀ And I’m happy here.⠀ ⠀ [Excerpts from my latest article on @Medium about being a #bonusmama and my little family! ❤️ To read, search 'Marisa Donnelly' on Medium and you'll see it at the top of my page!] ⠀ ⠀ 📷: @denisekophoto
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DAILY MOTHERHOOD QUOTE:

"I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible."

Uma Thurman
happy kid smiling between parents

NAVIGATING SPECIAL NEEDS:

7 Last-Minute Christmas Gifts For Kids With AutismFinding the right gifts for kids with Autism means understanding the child's unique needs...December 21, 2019

5 Things I Wish People Knew About My Son’s DyslexiaDyslexia is a silent learning disability. It’s not something you can clearly see or...November 16, 2019

7 Encouraging Affirmations For The Parent Of A Special Needs ChildIf you haven’t heard this today or ever—I believe in you. You can do...May 3, 2019

SAN DIEGO, TRAVEL + LIFESTYLE:

must-see San Diego Halloween haunts
San Diego

Mom’s Night Out: 3 Must-See San Diego Halloween Haunts

The Disturbance, a three-part scare, is definitely one of the must-see San Diego Halloween haunts for your next mom’s night out.

October 25, 2019
happy girl holding younger child by palm trees
Mom Hacks, San Diego, Travel

Mama On A Budget: 12 Ways To Save Money In The City

If you’re looking to get the max out of your time while being conservative with your wallet, here are 12 tips to help you save money in the city.

July 2, 2019
mom posing in front of all-natural eczema products by Keller Works
Health/Wellness

4 All-Natural Eczema Products For Mamas And Their Little Ones

This mama, beauty boss, and founder of Keller Works, Krystn Keller, created organic, non-toxic, all-natural eczema products to soothe her son's severe skin.

May 7, 2019
kid swinging upside-down on playground
San Diego

8 Best Playgrounds In San Diego

From setting up a picnic lunch, to playing a pickup game of soccer, to watching the sunset from the monkey bars, here are the best playgrounds in San Diego.

April 30, 2019
woman with face mask on staring at camera
Health/Wellness, Mom Hacks

The Lazy Mom’s Guide To Healthy, Effortless Skincare

Regardless of what you currently do or don’t do for your skin, here’s the lazy mom’s guide to skincare (without all the hassle and overpriced products).

April 29, 2019

“Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb, or someone else's."

Sheryl Crow

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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM