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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM

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my momish moments, diary of a bonus mom

"I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you."

LATEST MOM HACKS:

activities to do with kids over break
December 29, 2019

10 (Fun!) Educational Activities To Do With Kids This Holiday Break

If you’re looking for engaging educational activities to do with your kids this holiday break, here are a few...

by Marisa Donnelly
happy kid on a toddler bike
November 29, 2019

7 Black Friday Bike Deals You Don’t Want To Miss

If your little ones (or big kiddos) love biking, here are some of the best Black Friday bike deals...

by Marisa Donnelly
woman doing DIY home cleaning
November 26, 2019

8 DIY Home Cleaning Tips (For Less Than $5)

Whether you're hosting for the holidays or just looking to give your home a makeover, here are some DIY...

by Marisa Donnelly
tips for winterizing your home
November 25, 2019

18 DIY Tips For ‘Winterizing’ Your Home

If you live in a chilly state, here are some DIY winterizing tips to help you get your home...

by Marisa Donnelly

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FROM THE HEART:

happy family loving a dad and his son

5 Things I’ve Learned Loving A Dad And His Son

by Marisa Donnelly

I am a bonus mom to my boyfriend's son and frequently share about our journey. Here are five things I've learned in loving a dad and his son.

January 5, 2020
From The Heart, Parenting Stories
your child doesn't need fixing

Dear Mom: Your Child Doesn’t Need ‘Fixing’

by Marisa Donnelly

I know, sometimes, it feels like there are so many things wrong. But your child doesn’t need ‘fixing.’ Your child was made exactly as who he or she is.

January 2, 2020
From The Heart
candid bonus parenting advice

Candid Bonus Parenting Advice You Need To Read Right Now

by Marisa Donnelly

Here's some candid bonus parenting advice: stop comparing, stop stressing, and stop wishing you could do or be different. Simply show up and be you.

October 10, 2019
From The Heart
My Bonus Mom Story

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Our Unfiltered Life:

I still don't know what being a 'mom' is supposed I still don't know what being a 'mom' is supposed to look like, be like, feel like. I'm still navigating how to enforce rules, while not being too strict or setting guidelines and boundaries without imposing too much of my personal fears or beliefs. I'm learning how to be a fill-in parent on playdates, how to stand my ground, how to honor myself and my load and say I need help when it all feels like too much.⠀ ⠀ It's an imperfect journey, but one I feel blessed to be on.⠀ And I think I'm doing alright. 💙
I think one of the craziest things about being a # I think one of the craziest things about being a #bonusmom, for me, is recognizing that my thoughts, my choices, my feelings, my decisions are no longer my own. I've learned, unconsciously, to make room for the other people in my life and realize how who I am and what I'm doing directly impacts them.⠀ ⠀ I guess this sounds silly, but for someone who just *found* herself in a family, rather than writing her own motherhood story, it's different. It's realizing that I'm no longer myself — I am these other humans, too. I am a part of this home, this family, this bond. Forever. ❤️ #momishmoments⠀
There are only a limited amount of hours in the da There are only a limited amount of hours in the day that I can see you, hug you, listen to you go on and on about the silly drama of your fifth grade friends. There only a limited amount of hours in the day that I get to snuggle you, laugh with you, shove you under the blankets when you fart on me. There are only a limited amount of hours in the day that I get to remind you that I love you.⠀ ⠀ Why would I spend any of them being angry?⠀ #momishmoments⠀
'Mother' isn't just a noun, a description, a title 'Mother' isn't just a noun, a description, a title.⠀ 'Mother' is a verb - something you do + continue doing selflessly, day after day.
We went to Legoland a few weeks ago. This was a lo We went to Legoland a few weeks ago. This was a long-awaited, surprise birthday gift for Austin (and best friend.) In one of the little stations you could create the 'character' of you. And Austin made me this - ponytail, glasses, oversized sweater and all. ⠀ ⠀ Seeing how I look, through his eyes, made me realize how truly significant my place as a #bonusmom in his life really is. I'm not just his dad's girlfriend. I'm not just someone who loves him. I'm a mother figure, a constant, a significant part of who he is and who's he's becoming.⠀ ⠀ That's scary, stressful, and beautiful at the same time. ❤️⠀
"I'm just trying to raise a good human." ⠀ ⠀ I "I'm just trying to raise a good human." ⠀ ⠀ I tell this to my boyfriend, as he protests about why I don't want Austin to eat crappy white bread. I say this to him when I overhear him and his friends speaking negatively to each other playing video games. I say this to my mom when we talk about the crazy world we live in and what's *really* important to teach the next generation.⠀ ⠀ If I'm not careful, I get caught up in trying to be the absolute best, trying to teach all the important lessons, try to be the mom with everything figured out. But it's not about perfection. It's about love. It's about making sure that little boy knows he's loved and capable of loving. ❤️⠀
It won’t be easy. Trust me when I say it won’t It won’t be easy. Trust me when I say it won’t be easy. And this isn’t meant to discourage you, it isn’t meant to be a challenge to do better than another woman in your shoes, and it isn’t about being ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than someone else.⠀ ⠀ You have to understand one thing: it’s your journey. No one can take it away from you, or write it for you. So promise me that you won’t be too hard on yourself. Promise me that you’ll push through doubt and insecurity because we all face it. And promise me that you’ll still see the good, even when it feels like you’re failing.⠀ ⠀ Because just stepping into this role takes bravery; don’t lose sight of that.⠀ ⠀ 📷: @denisekophoto⠀ #momishmoments
Dear Bonus Parents: I see how much it hurts when y Dear Bonus Parents: I see how much it hurts when you pour yourself into a child who doesn't necessarily recognize your place in his or her life. I see how much your heart aches when that child chooses his or her biological parent over you, time and time again. I see how you feel lost as you try to figure out your role, and feel disconnected as that child grows, and relies less and less upon you.⠀ ⠀ But don't give up. How you show up for that child matters. How you love matters. And maybe he or she won't see it right now, maybe not for years, or maybe not until that child has children of his/her own.⠀ ⠀ But what you're doing matters.⠀ Don't give up. ❤️⠀
"Two months after I met Layla, I was in Tiffany’ "Two months after I met Layla, I was in Tiffany’s kitchen and told her I loved her and her daughter, and I want to do this life and this family with them.⠀ ⠀ Two months after that, I proposed on the beach in Santa Barbara, and in August 2019, I married my best friend and walked my daughter down the aisle.⠀ ⠀ I have never had any doubt or hesitation about stepping into their lives. It was the best decision I have ever made."⠀ — @j_daddy3317 #becomingabonusdad⠀
"You've shown me a part of me I wasn't born with. "You've shown me a part of me I wasn't born with. How lucky to have learned it from you and made it a part of myself." ❤️ #momish⠀
If I'm being honest, sometimes I don't like how Ja If I'm being honest, sometimes I don't like how James parents Austin. Sometimes he says or does things and I think, "I would have done that differently," or even "I don't agree." Sometimes I do things that he absolutely hates, or I go against rules and behaviors they've had in place since the get-go.⠀ ⠀ It's hard to be a #bonusmom learning how to parent when you've never done it before and haven't been there since day one, especially when you're someone who struggles with perfectionism (guilty!) and want to do everything about parenting as 'right' as possible. Sometimes I say too little sometimes I say too much. Sometimes I'm just too hard on myself.⠀ ⠀ But then, other days, when I see these guys so damn happy, I remember that IT'S OKAY to not have it all figured out. The kid's growing up just fine. ❤️⠀
You are not a bad mom. ❤️⠀ You are not a bad mom. ❤️⠀
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DAILY MOTHERHOOD QUOTE:

"I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible."

Uma Thurman
happy kid smiling between parents

NAVIGATING SPECIAL NEEDS:

7 Last-Minute Christmas Gifts For Kids With AutismFinding the right gifts for kids with Autism means understanding the child's unique needs...December 21, 2019

5 Things I Wish People Knew About My Son’s DyslexiaDyslexia is a silent learning disability. It’s not something you can clearly see or...November 16, 2019

7 Encouraging Affirmations For The Parent Of A Special Needs ChildIf you haven’t heard this today or ever—I believe in you. You can do...May 3, 2019

SAN DIEGO, TRAVEL + LIFESTYLE:

must-see San Diego Halloween haunts
San Diego

Mom’s Night Out: 3 Must-See San Diego Halloween Haunts

The Disturbance, a three-part scare, is definitely one of the must-see San Diego Halloween haunts for your next mom’s night out.

October 25, 2019
happy girl holding younger child by palm trees
Mom Hacks, San Diego, Travel

Mama On A Budget: 12 Ways To Save Money In The City

If you’re looking to get the max out of your time while being conservative with your wallet, here are 12 tips to help you save money in the city.

July 2, 2019
mom posing in front of all-natural eczema products by Keller Works
Health/Wellness

4 All-Natural Eczema Products For Mamas And Their Little Ones

This mama, beauty boss, and founder of Keller Works, Krystn Keller, created organic, non-toxic, all-natural eczema products to soothe her son's severe skin.

May 7, 2019
kid swinging upside-down on playground
San Diego

8 Best Playgrounds In San Diego

From setting up a picnic lunch, to playing a pickup game of soccer, to watching the sunset from the monkey bars, here are the best playgrounds in San Diego.

April 30, 2019
woman with face mask on staring at camera
Health/Wellness, Mom Hacks

The Lazy Mom’s Guide To Healthy, Effortless Skincare

Regardless of what you currently do or don’t do for your skin, here’s the lazy mom’s guide to skincare (without all the hassle and overpriced products).

April 29, 2019

“Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb, or someone else's."

Sheryl Crow

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THE DIARY OF A BONUS MOM