My journey into motherhood was non-traditional, which is why I’ve always struggled to find where I “fit” in relation to expecting moms, new moms, or even moms adding another child to the mix.

I’ve always felt like these moms have different stresses—and in a strange sense, expected stresses—because they largely knew what they were ‘getting into’ by having a child of their own. Whereas my stresses (and my whole motherhood experience in general) was largely unexpected, unplanned.

And that’s not to say I didn’t choose—actively, intentionally, and happily—to become a stepmama. I did. But despite willingly jumping in, I didn’t know what to expect. And I was stresed.

But isn’t this experience universal?

I think, regardless of your parenthood story, you’ll face challenges, obstacles, ups and downs, and moments of overwhelm. But you’ll move through them, and learning to reduce your stress levels as a parent can be one of the biggest lessons on your journey. Here are a few suggestions that have helped me. Maybe they’ll help you, too.

Allow Yourself to Take a Break

When everything feels a little stressful at home, it’s important to prioritize taking a break. This can be something as big as taking a mini-vacation or trip away, or it can be as small as stepping away for a walk or coffee date with friends. But if you don’t actually—intentionally—take a break, then things will just continue to pile up.

Something I’ve relied on (and actually where I’ve been able to help as a source of reliance, too, for other mamas/families!) is care.com. I’ve been registered on this site for over a decade as a caregiver and babysitter, but early in my stepmama journey, I also used it to find trusted caregivers, too.

Sometimes you just need someone—who’s not family—to step in and help carry some of the load for you.

Seek Support From Family & Friends

While it’s important to seek support outside of your network, that isn’t to say that the people around you can’t help.

This is something I really struggled with, especially early on as a stepmama. With my family living out of state and not having confidence to ask my significant other’s family to step in, I carried everything myself. . . and I burnt out.

It’s important to connect with people in your family and not only ask them to help carry some of the load, but also show and tell them what you need. Sometimes it’s not even about the physical support as much as the time to connect and talk. Maybe there’s nothing others can “do” for you, but they can listen. And sometimes that’s enough.

Prioritize Activities That You Enjoy

If you want to reduce your stress levels as a parent, one of things you need to do first is understand yourself—your passions, your triggers, and what can help you feel regulated.

Sometimes we get stressed by our children, but sometimes it’s not our children at all and it’s actually the workload and/or the mental load involved in raising a family.

First, identify where your stress is coming from. Are you struggling with the physical demands of transporting your child(ren), attending to their needs, or making time for homework, extracurriculars, and your own work? Is it your career and trying to balance between your job and motherhood journey? Is it keeping up with household chores? Is it fighting with your significant other about balancing it all? Is it a combination of all of the above?

By recognizing the source of your stress, you can combat it.

And one of the best ways to combat, or even offset your stress, is to find things that you love and prioritize them. Whether that’s something physical like dance, yoga, or exercise; spiritual like reading or time for prayer and meditation; social like visiting with friends; or even extra time to pursue your passions, finding ways to make time for that in your weekly schedule isn’t just important. . . it’s essential.

Try Mindfulness & Meditation

And speaking of meditation, this can be an incredibly useful tool for regulating your emotions, regaining your sense of peace, and focusing on your breath in order to release tension and anxiety.

Mindfulness and meditation can guide you into living in the present moment (which naturally reduces stress), and also allows you to utilize visualization, which can help you see the steps from where you are to your ‘ideal’ way of living.

While you’ll never be completely ‘stress free’ in motherhood or fatherhood, you can easily reduce your stress levels as a parent by remembering that the most important part of your journey is being present with your children and being in their lives.

So, take it slow, take a deep breath, take each day as it comes. The road won’t always be easy, but you will get through. And it will be beautiful.

 

Featured Image Credit: Israel Palacio